Trump to Ballots: I’m Going to Punch You in the Nuts!

Illustration for article titled Trump to Ballots: I’m Going to Punch You in the Nuts!

Photo: SAUL LOEB (Getty Images)

I’m not sure what ballots have done to President Trump but he hates them.

Maybe it’s because he knows that ballots can’t be tampered with. Maybe he knows that a physical ballot is a receipt of a vote cast, most likely against his ass. So, the president of people who really wanted to make ass cleavage a thing has staked a full on fight against ballots.


On Wednesday, the president of people whose heels hang off the back of their open-toed shoes refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power should he lose to Joe Biden because he only sees the election one of two ways: Either he gets another four years in office or something went wrong, and by something, I mean Russian interference didn’t work.

“Well, we’re going to have to see what happens,” Trump said. “You know that I’ve been complaining very strongly about the ballots, and the ballots are a disaster.”


Pressed further, Trump said: “We’ll want to have — get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very — we’ll have a very peaceful — there won’t be a transfer, frankly. There’ll be a continuation,” NBC News reports.

This isn’t the first time that King Joffrey Baratheon refused to commit to leaving the White House should the election show that the loser has lost. In June, he told Fox News’ Chris Wallace he’d “have to see” and claimed that mail-in voting will “rig the election.”

From NBC News:

Trump has repeatedly assailed mail-in voting as widely fraudulent, but he and his campaign have released no evidence to prove it. Even though the president and first lady Melania Trump have voted by mail and his campaign and Republicans have encouraged voters in key swing states to request ballots, his campaign is suing multiple states over mail-in voting rules.

Earlier Wednesday, Trump said he wanted to have the next Supreme Court justice confirmed ahead of the election so the high court could rule on the contest.

“I think this will end up in the Supreme Court, and I think it’s very important that we have nine justices, and I think the system’s going to go very quickly,” Trump said at the White House, adding that “having a 4-4 situation is not a good situation.”


Biden was asked about Trump’s comments to which he replied: “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this nigga?” “What country are we in?

“He says the most irrational things,” Biden said. “I don’t know what to say to that. It doesn’t surprise me,” NBC News reports.


Even “Stalin,” the fifth ninja turtle, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) couldn’t get down with Trump’s brand of fuckshit.

“The winner of the November 3 election will be inaugurated on January 20,” he tweeted. “There will be an orderly transition just as there has been every four years since 1792.”


And if you were wondering why Republicans are adamant about filling Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Supreme Court seat, Trump’s favorite stepping stool, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, spelled it out on Fox News on Thursday.

“People wonder about the peaceful transfer of power,” he said. “I can assure you it will be peaceful. Now we may have litigation about who won the election, but the court will decide, and if Republicans lose, we’ll accept that result. But we need a full court.”

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